We're two gay men, and we're expecting TWINS in two months through surrogacy. Of course were incredibly excited, and were reading all the books trying to get ready. Were a little discouraged because absolutely everything we read says breast milk is BY FAR the best for babies but were not equipped! Can you suggest the best formula, or ways to access breast milk? How important is it, really?

Breast milk, when available, is a natural, healthy, and complete diet for newborns. New mothers should be encouraged to nurse their babies and supported in every way to provide breast milk for their babies for as long as they decide to nurse.

So, now, a little reality.

Not everyone decides to nurse. Not everyone who wants to nurse is successful. Not everyone is equipped to nurse. This is why formula is available and why the research has been done to make formula as close to breast milk as possible. It's not "perfect," but formula provides all the calories, vitamins, minerals, and is now fortified with DHA and ARA (components of breast milk), which have been shown to improve visual acuity and brain development.

Millions of children receive formula during their first year of life, growing well, developing normally, and generally thriving. There's really no reason to search out a source of breast milk.

There are many commercially available formulas, all of which have their advocates. Overall, you want to find a formula that the babies will tolerate well - gain weight appropriately, have regular and normal bowel movements, and don't cause any adverse reactions.

Most people start with a milk-based formula, which the vast majority or newborns tolerate without difficulty. If either of the babies has digestive issues with the milk-based formula, there are formulas that are lactose-free, soy-based, and hypoallergenic. Some parents choose an organic formula.

Most babies will tolerate whatever you feed them. If you run into any problems with your first choice, your pediatrician will help you choose an appropriate substitute.

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