Dear Ms. Chapman, When do you speak to a child about his or her feelings about their same sex friends as being possibly more than just feelings of friendship? I know there are no hard and fast rules but I wonder what kinds of conversations about this help a young child (7 or 8) feel most accepting and comfortable with himself and his budding sexuality?

I agree with you that there are "no hard and fast rules," primarily because understanding childhood sexual development is personal, cultural, and perhaps regional. Young children receive an abundance of messages from the caring adults around them and the media/society at large about how to interact with and think about people of the same and opposite gender.

Sexual development and bonding/intimacy are two different, yet related topics. School age children have strong feelings about their friends. As an educator, it was not uncommon for me to hear a 4, 5, or 6 year old announce their love and desires to marry a classmate of the same or opposite gender.

Validate your child's feelings. When he says he wants to marry or be with a friend forever, reassure him that his feelings are "normal" and wonderful. Support your child's strong feelings and willingness to show and receive love.

Understanding Early Sexual Development - http://kidshealth.org/parent/growth/sexual_health/development.html

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